I hung out with a few friends last night. we had no plan and no expectations of where the night would end or what it would be. I know some people really don’t like this lack of structure, but I personally thrive on it. it doesn’t really matter what we are doing. we could honestly end up at a nowhere bar playing board games and I’ll be having the time of my life like I just stepped out of the limo. sometimes I catch myself in these moments and I don’t know why I’m having so much fun. why am I so happy in this moment? I shouldn’t be having so much fun doing the lame things we do!
In this, I have realized I feed off of the energy and vibes of my friends and I truly love being around them. I love how they make me laugh, think, and feel. I believe when we find people who make us feel joyous, comfortable and seen then our labels and expectations of ourselves fall away. at least momentarily. for a moment we don’t have to prove ourselves or fix what’s wrong about us.
similarly to culture and homeland pride, friends provide this sense of belonging. of a community. some of the hardest times in my life were because of a lack of community. a lack of people pouring joy into me and nowhere to pour my own joy. in these times I remember praying and praying for God to bring people into my life and for the courage to go out there and snatch them. *snatch* you are my friend nowwww. you are stuck with meee hahahahah!!!! suckaaaah!!!
do you ever catch yourself and wonder, “literally why is this amazing person friends with mee?” it’s not that I don’t think I am amazing, hello. I know I am. I mean look at me. slay. lol. but, it’s that I think my friends are that much more amazing and I love them so much! I am so thankful for them. Thanksgiving has got to be one of the best holidays and it’s all because of them.
really, we all crave to belong. it’s within our core. even the people who don’t want to belong want to belong where they don’t belong. HAHAha. tripped you. but seriously. almost nothing matters more. because if we don’t belong then what’s the point right? the beautiful thing I wish everyone knew is that we do all belong somewhere. maybe we all belong in the same place, even aside from all our differences. we are all already in one place, here on earth. so what’s to say we all can’t belong somewhere else? differences and all?
what about the Unites States of AAAMERICA BAYBEEE?? *eagle screech* the ‘melting pot’ or ‘salad bowl’ of the world???? where people of all nations come together and belong!! but even here people feel like they don’t belong and history tells us this all too well. when we were spending time with refugees my friend started asking a few of the kids if they liked it here in the U.S. or if they would rather go home. overwhelmingly they expressed that if they had the chance they would go back in a heartbeat. they would return to what felt the most like home. where they feel they most belong.
what is home?
when times get tough, many of us want to return home. home for many people here is their parents’ house 30 minutes away. or if that’s a toxic place, maybe home is a friends house or just a certain city. a place where you belong. when you can’t pay rent, when your SO broke your heart, when you are feeling all around shitty or just weird. time at home sounds good. time where you belong sounds good. times, where I have felt like I belong, stand out to me because it means so much. it is why people fear to move, desire to move, enter relationships, leave relationships, become depressed..
in my biggest times of not belonging, I sought refuge. I sought it in in friends, activities, and places. but there is only one place where I have sought it and found it every time. one place I know I will belong. one place that won’t let me down. one place that won’t make the pit of my stomach churn. it’s food!!!!!!!!!!!! the world of food!!! sike no it’s not. food has definitely made my stomach churn a few times like come on. honestly, since I have accepted Jesus, the one place I have found refuge, a home, and belonging in is in Jesus Christ! places, people, and activities just don’t have this kind of power. they will let you down. our best friends have definitely disappointed us. Jesus is the home I can run to and choose to run to in a heartbeat. In my struggles, if someone asked me if I wanted to go home- yes. yes. Yes. my home is not another country far far away. it’s not hard to get to. I don’t have to trek. my home is in Jesus. He is right here all the time. He is already running to me and to go home all I have to do is open the door!!!!
- 1/2 cup canola or vegetable oil
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 3 eggs
- zest of 1 lime
- 4 tbsp tequila
- juice from 2 limes
- 1/2 cup raspberries
- 1 1/2 cup flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 cup butter
- 16 oz powdered sugar or confectioners sugar
- zest of 1 lime
- 1 1/2 tbsp Rose's lime juice (or juice from lime)
- 2 tbsp milk
- preheat oven to 350
- in a medium to large bowl combine butter and sugar and mix well
- add eggs, lime zest, lime juice, tequila and whisk until well combined
- mash raspberries and mix in
- mix in salt, baking powder and flour
- pour batter in 2 loaf pans, evenly distributed
- bake at 350 for 40 min
- let cool before applying frosting
- beat butter and liquids together in a medium bowl
- gradually add powdered sugar and beat until whipped and fluffy
- I used El Mayor Reposado Tequila